Making Peace with Yourself
Making peace with yourself first means becoming aware that, whatever we may think, we are not at peace!
How can we ever hope to see peace on our planet, peace between peoples, if we cannot even manage to be at peace with ourselves?
"Suppose that this weekend you planned to go 300 km from home. You found a great place, cheap, with a pool! Perfect. You’re going because there’s a festival in a nearby town, an event you’ve dreamed of attending for years! And as icing on the cake, you’ll meet an old childhood friend who usually lives far away.
So you start preparing, both inwardly and outwardly. Outwardly: you booked the accommodation, reserved a table at the local restaurant everyone recommends, bought new sneakers because the old ones are worn out, and you all planned a hike in the nearby gorges. Inwardly: you often picture it. You visualize the restaurant, the blue waters of the gorges, the room opening onto the pool… You’ve seen photos, but you’re already dreaming. You think of your friend, the conversations you’ll share… Everything feels like a fairy tale.
It feels so good that even Monday at the office seems wonderful. Usually, Mondays are tough… but this one feels light.
Tuesday.
Wednesday.
Only two days left! It’s almost here, it’s going to be amazing.
Friday afternoon: car trouble. The engine smokes. The tow truck comes, and you end up at the garage. They tell you, “Sorry, it won’t be fixed before Monday.” No replacement car, since it happened outside your coverage area.
You have to cancel. Postpone. Forget about it for now."
Now… observe what happens inside you.
Serenity? Calm? Peace? Letting go?
Or…
Tension? Anger? Frustration? Sadness? The urge to give up everything?
What’s your dominant emotion? Be honest with yourself. Go beyond the “proud” layer that says, “Everything’s fine.”
This example extends to many life situations:
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The water heater breaking in the middle of winter.
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A neighbor drilling on Sunday morning when you planned to sleep in.
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The neighbor’s dog tearing open the garbage bag you left outside for just one hour.
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A reckless driver cutting you off and insulting you.
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Your son skipping class again.
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Your daughter glued to social media instead of studying for her math test.
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The bakery running out of cakes when you needed one for your husband’s birthday, after wasting time at a crowded supermarket and chatting too long with a friend.
See how easily we fall into inner conflict?
And what about the things we do to relax?
"Hey, Stéphanie, let’s go shopping Saturday?” But after trying on 5 dresses and 3 pants, you realize it’s late winter, you’ve put on 2 kilos, and nothing fits your self-image. You come home empty-handed… or with unnecessary purchases… frustration again."
We must first realize there’s only one solution:
to see ourselves as having a kind of “disease”—the disease of unstable, useless thoughts, generating endless uncomfortable emotions and attracting more negativity.
To heal, we need to make peace with ourselves.
Once we make peace inside, our wishes will no longer be rooted in expectations. We’ll welcome obstacles with kindness, letting go instead of clinging. Life will become much more serene.
Others, in every situation, will no longer appear as enemies but as fellow sufferers—patients of the same illness we try to help.
That’s when we understand: making peace with oneself is the path to making peace with the world. These values of “living together” are those promoted by Buddhism, especially during the Festival for Peace held in Paris by the Tibetan temple Kagyu Dzong.
About Kagyu Dzong
Kagyu Dzong is a Tibetan monastery located in the Parc de la Pagode de Vincennes, founded in 1985. It hosts courses, conferences, exhibitions, and study programs. Lama Gyurmé, close disciple of His Eminence Kalu Rinpoche, has been teaching in Paris since 1974. Many know him through his music albums with pianist Jean-Philippe Rykiel, such as Wishes for Awakening, Chants for Peace, and Voices of Light.
At the Festival for Peace 2022, we offered:
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An information booth on our activities (trips, online courses, training, Paris-based classes, etc.)
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Discovery classes of Lu Jong (Saturday 5 pm, Sunday 4 pm, 1h30 each)
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Discovery classes of Tog Chöd (Saturday June 25, 2 pm; Sunday June 26, 3 pm)
Why Tog Chöd and Lu Jong at a Peace Festival?
Simply because they are ideal practices for inner transformation—a Buddhist way of taking the first step.
📍Festival for Peace in Paris, June 25–26, 2022, at the Grande Pagode of Bois de Vincennes.
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